I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
