i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
