Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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