Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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