These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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