how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
