i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
