Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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