dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
