He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
