some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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