Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
