u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
