I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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