just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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