he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
