grandma shit on top of the toilet
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
