I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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