So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
