Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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