Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
