guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
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