At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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