I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
