Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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