Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
