Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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