she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
you made out with another girl for some wings
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
