Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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