I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
