I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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