It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
