dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
