I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
