Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
