Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
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