I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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