he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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