ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
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