can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
