where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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