I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
