Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
