i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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