its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
