goodnight i made you a song goodbye
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
