Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Can I color on your dick again?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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