i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
