the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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