If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
