Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
