i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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