Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize